Friday, December 31, 2010

Resolutions, Day 14: "Play The Movie Forward"

Happy New Year's Eve!

I hope you have all had a fabulous final day of 2010. I went for a walk today before a big cold front blew through, and I've had a glamorous day of battling traffic to get to the grocery store, working on my cashflow spreadsheet for January and watching TV.

In just a few hours, I'm going to make Pioneer Woman's black-eyed pea dip and head to a friends house... dinner reservations at 9:45p... then I plan on spending the evening right here in my own neighborhood, celebrating the end of 2010!

So before things get hectic (and I've had a glass-or two- of champagne) I wanted to post resolution #14. Wow... 14 of 15 resolutions! It seemed like such a daunting series 14 days ago when I had the brainstorm to post a resolution every day until New Year's Day. But I'm so glad I did; I've done a lot of reflecting on my life the past year, and what I would love to see happen in 2011.

Of course, I write these resolutions with the full acceptance that sometimes God has other plans in store for me. I may not do everything on this list, or even half of it- but that leads me to resolution #14:

Play the movie forward.


This resolution actually comes from Sheila Walsh. I have read many of Sheila's devotionals this year, and she posted on her own blog just yesterday on this concept. (Read here!)


In sum, it's pretty straightforward: play the movie of your life forward, and where do you want to be six months, a year from today? What are you doing today to get there?

As you can see from my 14 previous posts- I hope my "movie" includes a closer relationship with God. Travel and adventure. Time with family and friends. Spending energy on things that challenge me, especially local things I can invest in. Make good choices with my money, with my health. Continue to learn, experience, celebrate, grow, grow, grow.

And, I haven't lost the hope that my movie takes me through several dates (hey, i'm being optimistic here!) with wonderful guys before I meet him. Another kitten, possibly. And I bet a few things I can't even fathom today, Friday, December 31st of 2010.

But regardless, I am going to play the movie forward. I'm going to live out the passions God has placed on my heart, and live in the now. And if a few curve balls are thrown my way, so be it. And if my future husband walks into my life in 2011, so be it. And if circumstances allow me to travel only as far as the state border this year, so be it. (But I hope I make it a bit farther out than that!)

I have many resolutions for 2011, but above all I have faith and hope and excitement.

Sounds like a movie worth watching, huh?

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Resolutions, Day 13: Live Locally

Happy New Year's Eve Eve! I can't believe it's almost time to wrap up 2010. My mom has been visiting the past few days, and she left today. So, I feel like Christmas "vacation" is officially over. I'm always a little sad- but fortunately, there are many unfinished projects around my house I will need her help with in the near future. :)

I had a nice afternoon. I finished up laundry and then did some shopping at a local vintage/flea market store I love. I have decided on two "DIY" (do-it-yourself, for those wondering) projects I'd like to tackle in the next few weeks, so I went to pick up a few items.

I'm making one of these:



And one of these:




Courtesy of Ashley Ann Photography and Design Sponge, respectively. I'll even take pictures and post the "progress" of each project! Both of these items are going in my office, which is getting better by the day. My bookshelf is finally looking awesome, and I have a plan of organization that will hopefully take shape the next few weeks.

So check back sometime next week when I get back to blogging about every day life! But until then...

It's time for another resolution! We're nearing the end of my 15 resolutions for 2011 series.

This one is multifaceted (big word alert.)

So, here we go, resolution #13:

"Live locally" in 2011.

This is really a two-part resolution. The first part of the "live locally" resolution will mean visiting local places I've always wanted to go, but never have. The Philbrook Museum of Art. The Tulsa Zoo. The Jazz Hall of Fame in Tulsa. Even drive a short distance to the Will Rogers Museum in Claremore, or back to the OKC Bombing Memorial. (I haven't been in years.) I love to explore and travel (as you know) so why not do that in my own city, my own state?

The second part of this resolution is to support more local businesses. Stores like The Vintage Pearl (who I have already supported greatly, I might add). Eat at unique local restaurants, support local music and movies.

And "local" doesn't even have to mean Tulsa! I also shop frequently on Etsy, and I know that's helping someone, somewhere with their own local business.

Tulsa is a great city for supporting all things local, and it's something I've come to appreciate about this town very much. Even the variety show I produce supports all things Oklahoma.

I can honestly say "live locally" has become a big motto of mine, from how I spend my time and energy to how I spend my money. And I would love to continue that into 2011.

In fact, a fellow former producer from KTUL tweeted today that she resolves to take the Tulsa Transit- our local bus system- more in 2011. (Great resolution, Julie!)

Alright, another resolution down! Two more to go.

Have a fantastic NYE's Eve!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Resolutions, Day 12: Celebrations

Ah. You know those days where you get so much accomplished? Little things that have been building up, that you tackle all at once and feel so relieved afterwards?

Well today was one of those days. It's been SO nice having my mom here to help get things done. We started the day with a walk along the river; she helped me put a box of things together for Goodwill and hang things on the walls; we visited Heather, Cooper & Colbie; and we got pedicures.

So... ah. It feels good.

It's amazing what dropping things off at Goodwill and hanging things on the wall can do for your "house esteem."

Every day, I feel more ready to throw the big party. You know, that party.

Drumroll, please...

A housewarming party!

Which takes me to resolution #12 in my "15 days of resolutions" series. (See my previous posts for the scoop- but to sum it up: 15 days, 15 blog posts, 15 New Year's resolutions that culminate with resolution #15 this Saturday, January 1st, 2011.)

So, here we go, resolution #12:

Host a brunch, a dinner, a cocktail party, a desert party and a housewarming party in the new house.

Ok, so realistically I may only host a couple of those parties- but you get the idea. I would love to host a brunch for some of my closest friends; a cocktail party for my coworkers. A housewarming party for everyone I love.

That's one of my favorite things about owning a home- inviting people over. When I had an apartment, it was so hard to have company. From getting through the security gate to walking up a flight of stairs to cramming everyone in, it was always a... hastle. To say the least.

At the house, I can say "come over." And people can walk here (hi, Leah!) or drive a short distance. Park in the driveway. Make themselves comfortable in the living room, or the kitchen. Spend the night in the guest room.

It's wonderful! So I plan to take full advantage of it this year. No stressing about things being perfect, either. If the bathroom isn't perfectly clean, or things aren't hanging on every wall- it's ok. I just want to fill this house with people, and love and laughter.

Speaking of housewarming parties- check out the VIP Lounge for all things celebration-related. It's getting a big "re-sprucing" in 2011!

12 resolutions down... 3 to go!

By the way- anyone have fun NYE plans? It's shaping up to be a low-key NYE with friends for me- dinner on the town, then games & fun at Leah's house. A perfect way to wrap up 2010, in my opinion! :)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Resolutions, Day 11: Writing History

Happy Tuesday everyone! Is it a short week for you guys, too? Believe me, I don't take these short weeks/short days for granted. It is SO nice to have a refreshing break from work.

For the past four months, we have been broadcasting auctions month-round, for up to 12 hours a day. I desperately need this down time!

And the best part is- we don't start our broadcasts up again until January 17th! I will be very busy until then, no doubt, but I will work "normal" hours.

Plenty of time to tick a few items off of the ol' New Years resolutions list!

I'm sorry I reiterate this daily- but in case this is your first stop at Lindsay's Lounge... I started blogging my New Year's resolutions a couple of weeks ago. And by this Saturday, January 1st 2011, I will have 15 resolutions for 2011 blogged and ready to put into action.

We're down to the final 5! So, here we go, resolution #11:

Take a local writing course and an Oklahoma history course.

A couple of summers ago, I took a 4 week writing class that I loved. Sometimes it's just nice to be around other writers, see what people are working on and how they get their start. But lately, I've started to think I wouldn't mind taking an abbreviated Oklahoma history class.

Technically, this is my 9th year to live in Oklahoma (including college.) I've always loved history, so I think it would be fun to learn a bit more about my state.

Maybe I can just pop in to a 4th grade history class. Isn't that the grade you learn state history?

So, there you go! An edumacation resolution. We all could use a little learning throughout the year.

Apparently, so could my grammar.

Just four more resolutions until 2011! Do you have a couple of your own in mind?

Monday, December 27, 2010

Resolutions Day 10: Edit Everything

I'm officially back in Tulsa! I had a great, 5-day visit in Plano, but it feels soooo good to be home sweet home.

Some highlights from my time in P-town include:
*Six Flags with the siblings Thursday night
*Christmas Eve church service Friday night
*Christmas morning
*Seeing True Grit at the movies with the family Saturday afternoon
*Playing Telestrations about 18 times (find it, play it. guaranteed laughter.)
*Family bowling on Sunday afternoon
*Seeing Jes's new baby Monday morning
*Meeting old friends for lunch Monday afternoon (Hi, Lisa!)
*Buying a new bookshelf at Ikea on the way out of town today

WHEW! That about sums it up. Great, relaxing, rejuvenating time in Plano.

But, like I said, it feels so good to be back in my sweet little house. My mom came back with me, and I plan on putting her to work the next few days. (Kidding!) We will take walks on the river, hang things on the walls, drink lots of Starbucks, and (maybe) she'll help me pack the Christmas tree up. (What do you say, mom?)

I can't believe we're in the last week of December! And with this final week of 2010 comes 6 more resolutions before we arrive at January 1st, 2011.

In case you missed it, I've been blogging a resolution every day for the past couple of weeks, and come January 1st... I will have 15 resolutions for the new year.

Some have been serious, some have been expensive, some have been time consuming... but all are things near and dear to me, things I've been thinking on for several weeks now, things I really hope to commit to in 2011.

So, here we go, resolution #10:

Learn how to proficiently edit video on Final Cut Pro.

For all of you non-news/non-media people... you probably find this resolution extremely boring. But! It's a resolution of mine, nonetheless.

I learned how to edit video on Avid in college. And nowadays, people use Final Cut Pro. (Or at least most people I work with!)

One major goal I have this year is to learn how to proficiently edit video on Final Cut Pro. It's mainly a professional goal- as a producer for a growing auction broadcast, I would like to know how to roughly edit pieces together and begin to tell or "produce" the story I have in mind.

THEN... the big guns (aka professional editors) come in to smooth out the rough edges and make everything seamlessly tie together.

I think this will also be a good personal goal, as I hope to do more rough editing for the variety show, as well.

So, there you go, resolution #10! A professional and personal goal. Hey, they say you should edit everything, right?

For those of you who have been following my "resolutions" series, stay tuned! We're down to the final 5. And these final 5 are some of my favorite resolutions of all.

By the way... it's the last Monday night of 2010!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Resolutions Day 8 & 9: Family & Friends

Good morning! The day after Christmas... it's always a bit bittersweet. 364 more days until Christmas, 2011.

I don't know about you, but the past 365 days have flown by. What a year! Full of some major highs and major lows. But as 2011 gets closer, I find myself just... excited. Excited for all of the possibilities that 2011 holds.

And maybe for the first time ever, I'm not sad Christmas is over, or that we have 364 days until the next one.

I'm ready for a slow year- a year where anything is possible.

The past week, I've been regularly blogging about my resolutions for 2011- 15 of them, to be exact. So, today, we're onto resolutions 8 & 9. (Just scroll down the page to see resolutions 1-7!)

Resolutions 8 & 9 are very similar, so I'll join them into one statement:

Make time with my family & friends a bigger priority.

This seems very obvious- and I bet it's on everyone's list this year. And the year before. And the year before that.

In fact, it probably seems odd to make that statement a "resolution" at all. It's not a chore, or a commitment. It's in fact my greatest joy in life, time spent with family and friends.

But I work very long hours, AND I live in a different city than my family. So it can be challenging to find the time to get away for a weekend in Plano or the lakehouse. And even though I live near most of my friends- it's never easy to find time to get together.

We all know life gets busy and hectic, and then... before we know it... 364 days have passed and it's Christmas again.

But excuses are just that, and there is nothing more precious in life than my family. And spending time with my closest friends is such a blessing.

So, resolutions 8 & 9 are to make that a bigger priority. I am resolving... committing... promising... and looking forward to lots of lakehouse trips with the family. Lots of dinners and happy hours. Lots of coffee dates and long-distance phone calls.

These are the things that matter most in life- and will always have a place on my "resolutions" list.

This week I will wrap up my 15 resolutions for 2011 "series." There will be some surprising resolutions, some not-so-surprising ones... and some scary ones. :)

2011, here I come!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Have a very blessed day with family & friends!

By the way... I'm writing this post on a new toy from Santa...

The iPad. :)

Much love!

Friday, December 24, 2010

Resolutions Day 6 & 7: "A Picture Perfect Blog"

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone!

I hope you are spending the day with family, close friends, or even just alone, reflecting on all of the blessings in your life, the joy of Christmas.

It's rainy and cold here in Dallas- a perfect Christmas Eve, in my opinion. I'm cooped up indoors with the entire family, and loving every second of it. We've been cooking, wrapping presents, and in just a few hours we're heading to church for the Christmas Eve service.

As you know, I've been posting my resolutions for 2011. I started last Saturday, and my goal has been to post a new resolution every day so that I have 15 in total come January 1st, 2011.

I wasn't able to post yesterday- I was driving to Dallas all morning, and then my siblings and I went to Six Flags last night.

A bit of a Christmas tradition.

Sooo... here we go! Resolutions 6 & 7.

Resolution #6:

Buy a Nikon D90 and take a SnapShop by one of my favorite bloggers, Ashley Ann Photography.

I have been wanting to buy a better camera forever now- a "real" camera- the kind with an adjustable lens and that you have to take really good care of. I've always enjoyed taking pictures, and with my desire to travel more in 2011 (see resolution #2) I would just love to have a nice camera to take great photos with. In fact, I'd rather have photographs hanging on my walls than anything else.

And I'd love to take a SnapShop by Ashley. She is only offering two next year- one in the Spring, one in the Fall- so I'm crossing my fingers I get in! She does a beginner course on how to take great photos.

And while we're talking about great photos, I might as well let that be a lead in to resolution #7:

Continue to invest in "Lindsay's Lounge".

I started this blog in January of last year, and I am so glad I did. I went back and forth about it for months and finally decided... what the heck?

This has been such an amazing creative outlet for me. A few months ago, I kicked off the VIP button feature and I already have tons of ideas for how to spruce it up a bit next year.

With a new camera, I hope to include more photos- better photos .

And in August of next year, I'm already signed up to attend my first BlogHer convention in San Diego, California.

I would love for blogging to be more of a priority in 2011, simply because I enjoy it so much. I've written about everything from faith, family and friends to grief and heartache to celebrations. And it's been such an amazing (and therapeautic!) part of my life.

Thank you to EVERY single one of you who keep reading!

So, there you go- resolutions 6 & 7. I'm planning on posting resolutions 8 & 9 on Sunday, post-Christmas. Tomorrow is a day of rejoicing in the birth of our savior, in celebrating with family. My Christmas wish is that you do just that!

Much love to you all, and Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Resolutions Day 5: "She Works Hard For The Money"

My "15 days of resolutions for 2011" series continues tonight with...

...Ok, I realize that sounded very evening news. (I did graduate with a degree in journalism.)

Let's try again.

I'm smack dab in the middle of a series here at Lindsay's Lounge: 15 days, 15 resolutions, 15 blog posts leading up to January 1st.

I started last Saturday and I have now shared 5 resolutions with you all. Tonight, I share #6.

This has been such a fun project for me! First of all, it's forced me to blog daily and make "blog time" a priority.

Something I hope to do more of in 2011. (Ahem... do a hear a potential resolution in there?)

But it's also been such a great way for me to reflect on the past year and goals I would like to set for myself next year.

And... it's been a good project to distract me from the ever-slowly-ticking clock. I mean, seriously. Could this week be any slower?!

So, here we go, resolution #6:

To achieve my financial goals.

Those goals include:

a) to pay off my laptop, couch & dryer
b) to start contributing (again) to my 401K
c) to end the year with 2 months salary saved up


Yes, I can hear the sighs, moans and overall disgust at this resolution. It's boring. It's related to money. And no one likes to think or talk about money, unless you have a lot of it.

But! It's important. I am trying to become more responsible with my finances, and I think it's good to have specific goals lined out.

I find myself waking up on the weekends- much like my dad- and balancing the checkbook, paying bills, keeping my cashflow log "updated."

I haven't always done that; something about being a homeowner makes me compelled to reevaluate my finances every 7 days.

It makes such a difference in my overall well-being when I feel like I'm being responsible with my money.

So, there you go! I promise... a more interesting resolution tomorrow.


Or not! These are my resolutions, after all. :)

Resolutions Day 4: A Challenge

Good morning!  Just a few more days until Christmas... I can hardly wait!  Work has seemed especially long and grueling this week.  A cruel way to make time crawl before I can load up the Volvo and head down Highway 75 to Dallas.  But!  Here we are, the last day of work!

As you all know, I've been doing a 15 day countdown to New Year's Day and blogging about a resolution for myself for 2011 each day.  

(Scroll down the page to read my first 3 resolutions.)

Today I will be posting two resolutions- one this morning and one tonight- because last night I had no time to blog.  

After a 10 hour work day and a 3 hour meeting for the variety show after work... I found myself eating dinner at 11:30pm.  

Not the finest hour to blog, in my opinion.

But the inspiration for resolution #4 actually comes from the variety show.  So, here we go:

Pursue commitments that challenge me.

I know this statement can be taken as somewhat vague- I mean, committing to roll out of bed on time every morning is a challenge in itself.

But let me explain.  I think it's easy to spend a lot of time in our comfort zones.  Doing what comes naturally and easy.  Surrounding ourselves with people "like us."  

One of the greatest things I've been challenged to do the past few months while working on the variety show is step outside of my comfort zone.  I'm surrounded by people I might not normally be friends with or even work with.  I'm challenged in an entirely new way.  

I can't really explain my commitment to the variety show- but it's fueling me.  It's giving me a new creative outlet- much like this blog- that makes 15 hour work days worth it.

I've learned that stepping outside of my comfort zone has made me more confident in who I am and what I believe in.  

So, I can only hope that I will continue to feel that passion, that desire to be challenged and step outside of my comfort zone, in 2011.

And I think the glory of this resolution is that this challenge may not always be huge or life-altering; it could be as small as saying yes to a date with a handsome stranger.

But, that's another resolution entirely.  :) 

Monday, December 20, 2010

Resolutions Day 3: "A Running Start"

If you've been tracking with me the past few days- you will notice that I'm doing a "15 resolutions for the 15 days leading up to New Year's day" sort of thing. I started Saturday, and we're now down to resolution #3.

You can read my first resolution here and my second one here.

Have you been taking some time to think about yours? This is a really good "blog project" for me, because instead of sitting down on January 1st and busting out a list of everything that pops off the top of my head- I'm actually taking an entire day at a time to think about each resolution. To let it sit and sink in and slowly come to the forefront of my brain. I feel like each resolution is a bit more meaningful that way.

It's not too late to join me! You can start today. 13 resolutions- today until New Year's Day- that you want to set for yourself in 2011. Or wait a couple of days and do 11 resolutions for 2011.

Well, shoot. That's catchy. I should have done that.

Oh well- I'm already off and running! 15 resolutions it is.

Speaking of running, here's resolution #3:

Run the Tulsa Run in October 2011 and reach my goal weight.

I'm trying to stay away from vague resolutions, like "get in shape." So, this is very specific: run the Tulsa run. I have 10 months to train for it, and I've already started. (Go me! No waiting until January 1st on this one!) I also have included reach my goal weight- no, I'm not sharing- which hopefully will come about thanks to the whole run-the-Tulsa-run thing.

But, you never know. Every quarter mile I run every day exponentially increases my craving for M&M's. At this rate... we're looking at a disaster by the time I'm running 9 miles.

Ah, well. It's a good resolution, none-the-less. I honestly feel better when I get up and run. I have more energy, more patience (explain that one to me?!) and a bigger drive to eat better. Except for those stupid M&M's.

So, there you go! Resolution #3. Keep tuning in for my additional resolutions. And start thinking of your own! 2011 is just over a week away! :)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

15 Resolutions: Day 2

Another day... another resolution!

Is anyone else out there thinking of their 15 New Year's resolutions? Well, now it's down to 14. 14 days until January 1st, 2011!




Something about a new year is just so refreshing. An opportunity to start fresh and new. And this year, I am focusing my attention on 15 resolutions in particular- and I'm blogging about them each day leading up to New Year's Day.


Check yesterday's post to see my first, and probably most important, New Year's resolution.


So, here's resolution #2:


Travel out of the state and out of the country this year.


Traveling is one of my favorite things to do. I used to travel a lot for work, and I've always loved going on trips with my friends and family.


I put that on the back burner for the past couple of years for one reason or another. But I'm ready to make it a priority again this year!


I already have one trip planned in the fall- San Diego with my mom and sister for the BlogHer convention! We just booked our hotel on Friday!


My other big trip will be to Germany to visit my friend Jes and her family. I can't wait to take another trip to Europe. My trip to Spain in 2006 was a life-changing trip for me.


Hopefully I can squeeze in a few more trips in 2011... but those are the big ones on the calendar!


You know what this means... save, save, save! Plane tickets aren't cheap. :) Now if only I can buy my new camera before these travels begin....



Anyone else resolving to travel more in 2011?



Saturday, December 18, 2010

15 Resolutions

Howdy, ya'll!

Sorry... I'm just getting into a "Texas" state of mind before I head that way for Christmas next week!

I truly can't wait. It was so nice having the whole family here for Thanksgiving this year- the first holiday I've ever spent in Tulsa!

But there's something about sleeping in your childhood bedroom, no matter how much it's changed over the years, on Christmas Eve. So, Texas, here I come.

In the meantime, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my New Year's Resolutions for next year. I make a list every year; something about putting it all down on paper makes me feel productive.

My resolutions this year are quite a bit different than the ones I put down last year. So much has changed- I have changed- so I'm spending a lot of time thinking about what I want for myself in 2011.

With full acceptance that sometimes... my resolutions and God's resolutions for me are a bit different. :)

Every day from now until New Year's Day, I'm going to blog one of my resolutions. In fact, let's all do it! 15 resolutions, from today until New Year's Day. 15... hopes? dreams? goals? changes?... you have for 2011.

So, here we go. My first resolution for 2011, and maybe the biggest one of all- definitely deserving of the #1 spot:

Grow in my relationship with the Lord and find a church to start regularly attending.

If 14 of my resolutions fail in 2011, I hope this single one is successful. I've had such a season of growth in my walk with the Lord these past few months, and I pray that continues into next year. And I would love, love, love to find a church home in Tulsa. It's time.

So, there's #1! Tune in tomorrow for resolution #2. And hopefully this gets you thinking about your resolutions for 2011.

Let's make it a great year!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Castaways

A few of my favorite people...

... taken yesterday at Double Shot. Hard at work planning the next variety show.

Peter took this picture of us and called it "Castaways."

Fitting, huh? :)

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The End of 2010

Four months ago, I would have never said the end of 2010 would be my favorite part of the year.

I can't believe how many wonderful blessings that have happened in just a short amount of time. And, a time when I was expecting nothing but heartache came some of the greatest joy!

Maybe it's because coming out of a big pile of heartache- all of the joyful moments seem that much sweeter. The good is that much better.

I had my review at work yesterday, and I kept thinking about my "life" review; how I would score in the different areas of my life. Physical, spiritual. Emotional.

I have learned so much about myself this year, grown so much. And I am so thankful for every second of it.

There are still things I would take back in a heartbeat. I walk through the back door every night and think of how much I wish Toby were running to the door to greet me. That has probably been the single biggest traumatic moment of my year, and I imagine will be one of the great ones of my life.

I read somewhere that a person isn't fully formed unless they have had two "significant emotional experiences." I'm not sure if that's true or not, but it's nice to think that these emotional experiences shape us and grow us into the person we are meant to be. A better, stronger version of ourselves.

As 2010 comes to a close, I am reflecting a lot on this past year and the good and the bad. But I feel like my "new beginning" already happened this year. And, I already like the way 2011 is shaping up.

So, that's where I'm at these days. My greatest prayer and hope for 2011 is that the growth continues.

Sometimes you pick your New Year's resolutions, and sometimes... they pick you.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Christmas Shopping Links

It has been cold, cold and colder in Tulsa lately!  So cold that it's hard to get out of bed in the morning, and I want to spend every spare second snuggled up under the covers or under a blanket.

Or drinking hot chocolate.

Basically, doing anything warm and nothing cold.
 
Like... running outside.  Or going outside, ever.

Which has made online shopping this Christmas such a huge success!

I wanted to share a few of my favorite websites where I made most, if not all, of my Christmas purchases this year.  I tried to go local, and if not local- then I tried to support a small business.  

If you're looking for any last minute gifts (don't stress; you still have 3 weeks!) then I would suggest clicking below and doing some browsing.

I dare you not to buy something for yourself in the process.  :)

For the ladies (and even gentlemen) in your life who love meaningful jewelry, you can't beat The Vintage Pearl.

For the loved ones in your life who love elegant, classy home decor- you must shop around Nest boutique in Dallas.

Speaking of home decor... I love Kim's designs.  She refurnishes and recovers old furniture using her specialty- burlap.  The result is a fabulous piece of vintage furniture with a new twist to suit your home.  Kim made this bench for me!  Visit Kim's blog to see her latest creations.

For all things hand-made, you can't beat Etsy.  (I'm still surprised by people who have never heard of Etsy!)  LOTS of fun goodies from Etsy this year.

And it's not too late to send out your Christmas cards!  I used Shutterfly this year- but I also want to recommend the lovely Cari at M.Press Cards.  She has created a number of things for me this year (remember Leah's bachelorette invitation?)

She also made another VERY cute something for me for Christmas that I can't wait to share... on December 26th, of course.  :)

Share your favorite online shopping spots!  We could all use a little last minute help!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Another Monday

After a busy weekend, it's nice to celebrate the end of Monday and the start of another week....
with hot chocolate, packed with marshmellows and a good book.
Happy Monday. :)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Seasons of Love

The title of this post is dedicated to all of my musical theater geeks out there! (My sister included.)

Seasons of Love. I think that totally sums up 2010.

Just a few days ago, my best friend had a beautiful baby girl. I remember the day two years ago she had her first baby, her son, and the look that was on her face. She had the same look on Monday, of just pure, unfiltered love.

I have known Heather for 8 years now, and I have only seen that look twice, ever. One for each baby. It literally makes my chest hurt, it's such a magical thing.

It's such a huge joy for me to watch people in my life in various seasons of love. I watched another best friend of mine get married this summer, and I get the same feeling thinking of how honored I was to watch her dreams come true as she married the man of her dreams.

Seasons of Love. I have learned so, so much about love this year. Watching Heather as a mom, Leah as a bride. Watching dreams come true.

And watching some dreams fall apart. Even through grief and heartache, I learned what love is, what love should be.

Someday, I'll be the bride saying my vows. I'll be the new mom, with that magic glow.

Today, I'm ok seeing what my next season of love will bring.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Facing Reality... and Getting More Sleep

I've had an interesting set of emotions lately.

I feel overwhelmingly blessed and thankful and happy, almost to the point where I could sing from the rooftops or cry tears of joy at any given moment.

I feel free. Of anxiety, of worry, of sleeplessness. The things that plagued me for months in the Spring and Summer are gone. Fall and Winter have brought peace and comfort, and newness.

And sleep, thank goodness.

But with that freedom comes an awareness that I guess it's time to face. Feelings and emotions I swept under the rug are coming out. I'm strong enough now to look reality in the face and remember things I would rather not.

But, I have to. It's all part of it, right?

It makes me realize how much stronger I am, how much happier and honest with myself I am.

And that is a very good thing.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Miracle on 36th Street

I successfully hosted my first Thanksgiving!

Six people and one Border Collie spent three days and two nights in my cozy, two-bedroom home.

We ate. We played scrabble. We laughed. We saw Harry Potter. We lived on top of each other.

And they all ran out the door, crying and screaming this morning.

I kid! But seriously... everyone woke up and was totally over Thanksgiving and ready for Christmas.

And their own bed.

My mom stayed a few extra hours and helped me put the house back in order. And a miracle occurred on 36th Street: my house is clean, my fridge is stocked... and my Christmas tree is up!


Oh, did I mention 82% of my Christmas shopping is done?

Ok, bragging session over. :)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

We had a great day around here of cooking, eating, laughing and enjoying being together as a family here in Tulsa!

I hope you had a very blessed day!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Giving Thanks

Hello, friends and family! What a whirlwind week. I hate going several days without blogging, much less a week, because it's such a wonderful outlet for me. But I spent the past week focused very intently on another "outlet"- a variety show we put on right here in Tulsa. "Show and Tell With Peter Bedgood" had great turnout, and I am so incredibly proud of what we put together.

Nearly three months of working what seemed like two jobs, all paid off!

Now, I am so ready for a week of slowing down, of giving thanks. My family comes Wednesday to celebrate Thanksgiving in my new house, and I am so excited to fill this cozy home with the people I love most on this Earth.

The older I get- and maybe this year, more than ever- I appreciate Thanksgiving. A day to reflect on blessings. Technically, it should be Thanksgiving every day- (cue the cheesy music) but sometimes it takes a special day, a holiday, to put things in perspective, to remind you in the hustle and bustle of life what giving thanks really means.

I am so thankful right now, I could cry. 2010 has not been a good year for me on paper. And sometimes I look back at August, and I tear up, thinking of the girl who lived in an apartment and watched her life change faster than she wanted it to.

I can't even believe that girl was me.

So, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful- maybe more than ever.

I am thankful for a broken heart, because every day I feel stronger and more certain of what I want and need.

I am thankful for death of a sweet pet, because it made me remember that life is fragile, and worth living to the fullest.

I am thankful for family who surrounds me with love and laughter.

I am thankful for friends who stand up for me and give me support.

I am thankful for a job that lets me be me, every day.

I am thankful for a new house, that I will fill with memories for many years to come.

I am thankful for a Savior, who keeps me holding on... no matter what.

2010 has not been a good year on paper. But if I had to judge this year on lessons learned, on hope restored, on thanks to be given- this has been my best year yet.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Christmas Wish List

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat! (Who can finish up the song?)

I love this time of year. In the past, the holidays have been very stressful. Trying to find time for holiday get-togethers, trips home to see the family, and yes... the ever-lovely Christmas budget can make me feel more like scrooge than Santa.

To avoid stress this year, I'm getting my shopping done early... and I'm sticking to a pretty strict budget. I'm also planning my family time and get-togethers ahead of time, and trying to focus on the real reason for the season. So, no stress.

Plus, Starbucks Peppermint Mochas help. A lot.

I'm working on a "Christmas Guide" post with some of my favorite shops to find Christmas goodies. Tune in for that tomorrow!

Today... here's a glimpse at my own personal Christmas wish list. :)

Anything and everything from The Vintage Pearl. I LOVE their stuff, and these leather cuffs are so perfect.

I'm a tad obsessed right now with all things travel-related. My guest room/office is more commonly referred to as "the travel room"... and since New York City is one of my favorite destinations, I believe this map via Made By Girl would be perfect on my wall.

I also love this print with "hello" in a bunch of different languages, also found at Made By Girl.

I have been looking for the perfect vintage globe for my guest room, too. I came across this designer that takes old, vintage globes and puts a new design on them. This Bon Voyage globe is my favorite.

Ok, ok... this is DEFINITELY not going to be waiting under the tree this year... but a girl can dream! :) I have debated the ipad for months now, and my conclusion... I love it. I want it.

What's on your Christmas wish list?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

A Prayer

Happy Wednesday!
I don't know about you, but the week is only halfway through and I'm exhausted! Too much going on. :) So, instead of an update... here's a prayer.
I actually had this taped to my mirror for years, and I just stumbled across it again the other day. I beyond love it.
Because I Love Her
I made her... she is different.
She's unique.
With love I formed her in her mother's womb.
I fashioned her with great joy.
I remember, with great pleasure, the day I created her.
I love her smile.
I love her ways.
I love to hear her laugh
And the silly things she says and does.
She brings me great pleasure.
This is how I made her.
I made her pretty and not beautiful
Because I knew her heart
And I knew that she would be vain.
I wanted her to search her heart
And learn that it would be me in her
That would draw friends to her.
I made her in such a way that she would need me.
I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be
Only because of the need for her to learn and depend on me.
I know her heart.
I know if I had not made her like this
She would go her own chosen way
And forget me... her creator.
I have given her many good and happy things
Because I love her.
Because I love her I have seen her broken heart
And the tears she cried alone.
I have cried with her
And had a broken heart, too.
Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone
Only because she would not hold my hand.
So many lessons she has learned the hard way
Because she would not listen to my voice.
So many times I have watched her go her merry way
Only to watch her return to my arms
Sad and broken.
And now she is mine again
I made her...
And then I bought her...
Because I love her.
I have to reshape and mold her
To renew her to what I had planned for her to be.
It has not been easy for her or for me.
I want her to be conformed to my image
This high goal I have set for her
Because I love her.
I love that poem! Such a wonderful reminder of what God intends for each of us.
Here's to Thursday... one step closer to Friday!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Weekend Wrap-Up

I just got home from a fabulous and much-needed weekend in Plano with the family! My brother drove down from OU, so the whole gang was in town. Here's a iphone picture recap of our weekend...

Mom & Ali met me at The Nest Boutique for the POST Blog Social Thursday night. So fun!

Mom & I. You can read my recap of the social (and see a few wish list items/do some Christmas shopping) here!

Friday night, we all went to my brother's last high school football game to watch him perform in the band.

My brother played the drums in the middle of the performance and rocked it. You can see the video here.

And Saturday morning, we went to Mikey's last drumline show. They did a great job- I love listening to the drumline.

The rest of the weekend was spent laying on the couch, eating good food, and- unfortunately- watching the Sooners lose. Badly.

I love weekends in Plano. I'm trying to take more time to go "home" for rest weekends like these, where I can just enjoy my family.

But the weekend of rest is over! This week is busy, busy, busy. Parties, cocktails with new friends, blogger meet-up... it's a glamorous life, people! :) AND... have you bought your ticket yet for the variety show? It's next weekend! Click here to get your ticket... they're selling fast!

Here's to hoping everyone has a smooth Monday!

Friday, November 5, 2010

POST Blog Social

As a Dallas native, I follow a handful of amazing Dallas-based bloggers- including the lovely Kelly over at Fabulous K. (She designed my blog, you know!)

Last night, Fab K and Hello, Splendor hosted the POST Blog Social at The Nest Boutique in Dallas! I drove in from Tulsa, where my Volvo was promptly whisked away and I entered a world of gorgeous home decorations, cupcakes and champagne.

Heaven, you may ask? Pretty close!

First of all, the lovely ladies behind Fab K and Hello, Splendor were such a pleasure to meet! Check out their blogs... wow. What amazing talent these ladies have, and an eye for beautiful home decor!

Second, I walked around the store with my mom and sister in awe of the beautiful treaures- from coffee table books to candles, stationary to sparkling bling.

Here are a few of my favorites from the night...


I have it under good authority these bird salt & pepper shakers might show up under the Christmas tree this year. Just sayin'.


I was in awe of this entire wall. I love all things bird/nature related, so you can imagine I was obsessed with the twig frames, silver-branch vases, and more. (My sister promised to rummage around the yard and make me her very own version of the twig frame for half the price. That's love, people.)

These serving utensils are just gorgeous. I need these for my housewarming party. (Hint, hint.)



I have an odd crush on skeletons. I have a skeleton tank top that always makes me feel edgy when I wear it. I told my sister today over lunch that I want a really "pretty" house with skeleton accents.

I can't even replicate the look she gave me.

But, I love this skeleton candle! Pretty and edgy, yes?

And finally, this New York coffee table book. It's only one of my favorite cities, after all. And who doesn't love a good coffee table book?
I will say I left with one Christmas gift purchase in tow. But... it's a surprise. :)

Check out the Nest online! I guarantee you will find a Christmas present or two for the fabulous ladies in your life.
And thanks again to the wonderful hostesses- you guys pulled off a lovely event!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Busy and Blessed

Where did this week go?! I have felt so overwhelmed and busy lately. But, I had a moment of clarity earlier today. Everything I'm sooo busy with right now... I love. I'm making time for the things and people I'm passionate about, and I couldn't be happier about that.

Work has been brutal lately- long hours, late nights. But I'm surrounded by some of my favorite people. People I can depend on in any situation. People who know me inside out. Who can tell by a look when I'm sad or happy, who know my insecurities, who could order my favorite meal (or drink!) on the spot. Who gets that lucky with their co-workers?

I have met some fabulous people through the variety show. By the way- get your ticket now! The show airs Thursday, November 18th and Friday, November 19th, so take your pick. :) Over the past month and a half, I have gone to new coffee houses and bars, brainstormed with some of the most artistic and creative people I've ever met, and really opened myself up to a new world. Every long meeting, I'm thankful for.

And this house- it takes a lot to own a house. Not just from a financial standpoint, but responsibility-wise as well. Whether it's the cable or the dryer, hanging things on the walls or watering the lawn, it all takes work. But I can tell it's making me grow up, too.

Coming out of a rough few months, I now feel like I'm growing more than ever. The people who have been by my side through the rough parts are still right there by my side. And new people are coming into my life, continuing to shape me. I'm so blessed by each person I'm getting to know for the first time, who reaffirm the girl I am and the girl I want to be. And I'm so blessed by the people who have known me for years, who continue to amaze me with their strength and support.

Life is good. New dreams are good. Could I finally be accepting change as a good thing? :)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Trick Or Treat...

Eagerly awaiting my first trick-or-treaters...

Happy Halloween! :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Letting Go

Tonight's post is a sort of follow-up to last night's post, and I didn't even set out to do that. I love it when I write about something one night, and then the next night... it all seems to make a bit more sense. So, here's the "sequel." :)

I am a stick-it-out kind of girl. I put everything I have into my work, my relationships. That was probably ingrained in me at an early age, when I wanted to quit piano lessons or girl scouts, and I wasn't allowed to. Even though I did eventually quit- it taught me that quitting shouldn't ever be easy.

I think that's why I have felt stretched so thin lately. I have a lot of things pulling me in different directions, and if I'm not careful- I start to lose a little bit of "me." I get tired and weepy and whiny. Because quitting isn't an option, but draining myself dry... is.

But, in the past 24 hours, I've felt the sting of heartache all over again. I've taken a long walk with my co-workers and laughed a lot, and I cried over dinner with one of my best friends.

These are the moments that remind me who I am. What I stand for. These moments of testing and truth remind me what's important no matter how many directions I'm pulled in.

These moments rejuvinate me and remind me that many of the things that are stretching me thin are things I care about, things that are worth my time, things that make me happy, things that fill me up. Things I should make a priority, not just another item on my to-do list.

And these moments also remind me of the things- and yes, even people- I need to let go of. The things that hurt and dissapoint, the things that drain me dry. I find myself wanting to write a disclaimer to this statement- because, after all, i'm the stick it out girl- but sometimes, the best favor you do for yourself is forgiving and letting go.

I think it's a very good thing.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Manic Monday

My Monday morning started out with two emergency phone calls from work... before 7am.

And I prayed the entire drive to work, knowing that a day that starts with two emergency phone calls before 7am always means a very... long... day.

A long day it was, indeed. Lately, I feel like I have one extremely long day after another. I know that's probably emotions talking. I'm worn out from weeks of moving and a never-ending list of to-do's.

Today was days of over-extending coming to a point. My patience was gone before I had my first cup of coffee. I feel like I'm stretched too thin, committed to so many things that I can only put half of myself into.

And, the tears came when I came home to no cable... yet again.

Can't a girl get a night of mindless TV after a manic Monday?!

Sigh. I know this is one of my whinier posts. Does anyone else out there hear me on this one?

Here's to a Tuesday of... fewer to-do's. :)

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Lately

I know everyone wants to see house pictures, and I promise... they're coming! Half the battle was locating my camera (which I did.) Now... finding the camera charger. That could be problematic.

So, in the meantime... I'll share a few iphone photos!

Do you love this bench, or what? You will see that I have a strong bird/bird cage/leaf/nature theme in my apartment, so this bench goes perfectly. It was refinished and then the cushion was made by the fabulous Kim over at Okie Chic. Check out her stuff, it's awesome!

I officially said goodbye to this place, my home for the past four years. I cried (twice) in the process of leaving. It was bittersweet, because I have such wonderful memories there. But, time for new memories. :)


My fair city. Remember that project I'm working on? It's all taking place at the VFW in downtown Tulsa. This is the view from the building. Love it.

Amy Grant concert! Sister & I got mom tickets for her birthday. We had a great girls night- dinner at Wolfgang Puck's Bistro to start, then the concert at the Broken Arrow PAC. Very beautiful building, even better concert!

Mom & Pookie.


And here's my sister wife, Leah. I just moved down the street from Leah & her husband, so we now share him. :) We watched the Sooner game Saturday night, which you all know was brutal, so of course beer and rice krispy treats were necessary.

So, that's that! House pictures soon. :)

Have a great week!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

A Night of Entertainment

Big announcement!

I am thrilled to be working on a new project going on right here in Tulsa. It's a variety show that will debut at the Veterans of Foreign Wars building (VFW) at 6th and Peoria on November 18th and 19th.

"Show and Tell With Peter Bedgood" is a two-night show that will feature everything from up and coming local musical guests and comedians to artists and dancers to skits... and so much more! Our goal is to leave you wondering what you just saw... and wanting more.

I am honored to be on board, helping run a tight ship on show night and keep up with the rundown of the show. Because, that's what I do best, huh? Boss people around and make 'em stick to a schedule. All producers are Type-A, yes? Tell me it's not just me... :)

Stay tuned for ticket information, directions, and more. This is going to be an exciting and unique event for Tulsans- Oklahomans, for that matter. From crew to talent, it will prove that you don't have to travel to Los Angeles or New York City for a night of true entertainment.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Lift Your Oars

Oh my goodness.

I have so much to catch you all up on, it's not even funny!

In case you missed it, I moved.

And I've spent the past few nights getting to know the creaks and rattles and taps that make my 1946 house talk.  It's been interesting.  Last night, I experienced my first thunderstorm in the house.  And, if this makes any sense at all, I fell in love with the house last night.  I've loved it all along- but last night, it felt like mine, with the thunder rolling and the rain pounding on the roof.  I loved every second of it.  My little sanctuary.

I just finished catching up on blogs, and I came upon this little gem over at A Sweet Spoonful.  

This poem absolutely speaks to my heart right now.  And, I love the way Megan breaks it down and analyzes it.  So, here you go, a poem on a rainy day.

West Wind #2
You are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without any doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me. Lift the oars from the water, let your arms rest, and your heart, and heart’s little intelligence, and listen to me. There is life without love. It is not worth a bent penny, or a scuffed shoe. It is not worth the body of a dead dog nine days unburied. When you hear, a mile away and still out of sight, the churn of the water as it begins to swirl and roil, fretting around the sharp rocks–when you hear that unmistakable pounding–when you feel the mist on your mouth and sense ahead the embattlement, the long falls plunging and steaming–then row, row for your life toward it.
~Mary Oliver

I think I love the two separate messages in this poem.  One being, lift your oars and just listen.  Just be.  I struggle with this, so when I read Bible verses or poems like this, it speaks to me.  And then... the call to action.  When you hear that pounding, whatever it may be, row for your life towards it.

Are you lifting your oars today, or rowing like crazy?  I hope to do both.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

Delicious Fall

Happy Saturday, readers! I can't WAIT to show you how the house is coming along. I am completely "moved in." Now comes the fun part... un-packing and hanging things on the walls! But I'm not in any huge hurry on that. I want to put everything in just the right place.

I spent most of this morning catching up on 2 days worth of blogs, and stumbled across a few delicious fall recipes from two of my favorite food bloggers. I may make both of these this weekend as a "welcome home" gift to myself.


Pumpkin Pie Pop Tarts with Maple Glaze by Joy The Baker. Come on, these look amazing.

And Apple and Cheddar Scones by Smitten Kitchen. These look a bit fancier- but who doesn't love an afternoon scone.

Any fall recipes you're trying this weekend? Link 'em up in the comments section!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Inspiration Wall

I'm exhausted.

The last time I moved, I was 22... fresh out of college... and moving into my first apartment.

Four years later, the whole process seems a bit more exhausting than before.

But, the move is underway! And I'm so blessed with parents who are here to help every step of the way.

I'm slowly starting to get a "vision" for my new place, and one thing that's a must is an inspiration wall.

I've been seeing them pop up in some of my favorite design blogs. A section of wall where all of your "favorites" are grouped together.



This inspiration wall can be found over at Ashley Ann Photography. I loved how she grouped together pictures, prints, mirrors, etc. for her daughter's nursery.



I also love this inspiration wall found via Made By Girl. Again, a mix of prints and pictures, and of course the monogram. I'm a sucker for monograms.

I'm thinking about doing an inspiration wall either in my living room or office. I love the idea of incorporating some of my favorite black and white Spain pictures, a couple of prints, a few crosses and anything else that inspires me.

What would be a part of your inspiration wall?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Checking In

Happy Monday!

Everyone's week off to a good start? I am VERY excited... because... it's finally move-in week!

My mom is here, and let me say... she is such a trooper. I have a very busy work schedule the next few days, and while I'm a slave to my desk.. she is cleaning, packing and organizing! I'm SO thankful.

When I got off work tonight, we took a big "haul" to the house. We packed up both of our cars, and made the trek to Brookside to unload and unpack. Things are (slooooowly) coming together!

I can't wait to have Wednesday, Thursday and Friday OFF of work so I can start putting things away and turning this house into a home! :)

And, can I just say... I can't WAIT to have my first trick-or-treaters.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Emo

Blogger now has a new feature that allows you to track your blog “stats.”

Hello, Canada! You like me! You really like me!

Something about my blog resonates with you. So, thanks for reading. And Happy Thanksgiving!
I also learned that I get my highest amount of readership when I write… “emo” posts.
I mean no offense by that term. It’s one used loosely around my household.

To me, “emo” is… emotional. A bit dark, intense, or slightly uncomfortable/awkward/unsettling.

Let me say that this definition of emo is NOT Webster approved. In fact, the “Lindsay” definition of emo is somewhat broad. Example: I consider heavy metal and non-Starbucks coffee emo.

Anyway, the point of this post is… something clicks for you all when I write from my heart. Real, meaty topics that might be a bit uncomfortable or intense.
And, I’m so flattered by that. I am most proud of the posts I write that are raw and very… me.
So, thanks for reading! If emo isn’t your thing… just click on the VIP Lounge button for lots of “fluff”!

Fluff… a “Lindsay” definition for another day.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Quick Update

Holy cow... what a week!

I have had NO time to blog. Or work out. Or do my new devotional. In fact, it's a task of epic proportions right now just to get up, dry my hair, put on a decent outfit and get to work!

Life is busier than ever... and I'm loving every second of it.

I have SO much to share... but tonight, a quick update will have to do!

In the BIG news department...


I close on the house tomorrow! :) From Saturday afternoon on, I will be in pack-ville. So much to do, so little time. SO worth it. My dad will be here for the closing, and thank goodness my mom will be here to help me pack. She is an organizational PRO. (Hey, I got my skills from someone!)

On Saturday morning, I will be in Norman for Brittany's baby shower! I can't wait to celebrate Baby Girl Lee!


Tonight, I attended my first Tulsa blogger meet-up. So much fun! I hope to find some time this weekend (in between packing boxes) to read some new blogs!

And in the coming weeks, look for...

*a look inside my Toby photo album (it turned out amazing!)

*pictures and fun details from Brittany's baby shower (click the VIP Lounge button!)

*an announcement about a big project I'm working on here in Tulsa!

WHEW. October... off to a crazy start!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Sweet Dreams

As all of my faithful followers know, the past few months have been pretty rough for me. And through a lot of heartache and grief, I have started to heal.

But something interesting about the whole process is that I don't have a lot of memories from July through mid-September. It's like I had temporary amnesia.

And, it's not that I blocked it all out. The opposite- I felt every single second of it. But I retreated into myself. It was experiencing sadness and grief and hurt, and I needed to block everything out for a bit. My walls of defense came up.

Something I'm finally realizing, coming out of the worst of that grief and heartache, is that so much of the sadness I felt- and still feel- comes from the death of my dreams.

I had a whole life and future envisioned for myself. I could picture my life so clearly with him. Even Toby was a part of that vision. And, just like that, it all went away.

But the last few weeks, I have felt the spark come back. My zest and energy and dreams. They started slowly trickling at first, and now it's like a waterfall. All of these wonderful dreams. Some small, some big.

New dreams are starting to spring up from the ashes of the old ones.

A couple of weeks ago, I finished a fantastic devotional by Sheila Walsh called "The Heartache No One Sees." It was such a wonderful tool in my healing.

And appropriately, today I started a new devotional by the same author- "God Has A Dream For Your Life."

A week from today, I will be moving into a new house. Big dream, not even on the radar three months ago, now coming true.

For the first time in a long, long time I don't know what's coming next. But I can honestly say... I can't wait to see what it is.
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