Wanted Ad

Wanted:

A lawyer.

Job Description:

Let my apartment know that lowering rent without informing loyal residents does not bode well for future lease signings.

Pay:

Non-existant

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Wanted:

A live-in veterinarian.

Job Description:

Monitoring my cat 24/7 for signs of lowered appetite; acquiring urine samples; force feeding and administering pills. Is not needed for cuddling or playing-he has a mom for that, DUH.

Pay:

Never. Not a cent.

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Wanted:

A mechanic

Job Description:

Checking my tires for low air so the driver is not flagged down on highways by concerned passers-by on a regular basis. Fix hole in the bumper from recent fender-bender. Make my car smell like cinnamon rolls at all times.

Pay:

HAHAHAHAHAHAH...hehe....ha. No.

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All interested candidates apply... immediately.

(And, I'm sorry I wrote the word urine in this post.)