So Long, Insecurity

Is it only Tuesday?! I feel like today could be... or should be... Thursday. Maybe because it's only Tuesday and it's already been a bumpy week.

There are two words that have been bumping around in my brain lately: fear and insecurity. I hate both of those words- yet they seem to have a reoccuring role in the Life And Times of Lindsay O'Donnell over the past year.

There's always something to fear, right? Sickness. Losing a loved one. Losing a job. Losing a relationship. Losing a pet.

And there's always that insecurity factor, as well. I'm not good enough at my job. I'm not a good enough friend, or daughter or sister. I'm not doing enough to improve my relationship with the Lord.

Fear. Insecurity.

But just like that, I've been hit twice this week with scripture passages to cast away fear AND insecurity. Funny how that works, huh?

I'm seeing that fear and insecurity cripple us. They take away our freedom and passion and creativity and squash our faith. I think that's a big one; letting fear or insecurity dominate our lives means we're not trusting the one who has the ultimate control.

So my greatest prayer is that I live a life of confidence. The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? I pray I let go of insecurity and trust that all is well. The Lord is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid? I pray I don't let fear of losing get in the way of the joy of what I have.

Because I truly believe God uses struggle to teach us and grow in us and bring us closer to him. But fear- and insecurity- have no room there.

So long, insecurity.

Spring Shape-Up

Hope everyone had a fantastic weekend! I certainly had a whirlwind few days. Friday night, I drove to Norman to meet my family for OU Family Weekend. My brother performed in Scandals! It's always hilarious to watch your brother dancing on a stage wearing make-up. It was perfect patio weather Friday night; we sat outside at La Luna drinking margaritas!

And Saturday, we drove to Plano for my youngest brother's senior percussion show. It was amazing! I'm always in awe of watching my brother run from the drumset to the marimba and back. Talented kiddos, all of them. Makes a big sister proud. :)

This week I am in major "spring clean" mode. It's like something hit me and I HAVE to get everything in shape! (Yes, including me!) I'm cleaning the inside of the house, and I have found a "yard man" to come whip my grass into shape. I'm also joining a gym through work- just giving myself another option besides the river trail. Sometimes a girl just needs an elliptical machine and some A/C. :)

I'll have more coming this week- including the desk I'm about to buy!- and some inspiration for my back patio. I can't WAIT to sit on my patio this summer, a glass of wine in hand. (Duh!)

Happy Monday!

An Unanswered Question

I'm definitely on a posting roll this week! I guess that's what happens when a major project comes to an end. Since the variety show wrapped last weekend- there is suddenly this windfall of free time! I have lots of catching up to do still- with friends, with other projects- but this week, I've been catching up on "me". Working out, writing blog posts, watching TV; it's nice to have a week where I set my own agenda.

I guess that kind of leads me to tonight's post, this whole "catching up on me" deal. I'm starting to learn there's a big difference between being a selfish person... and being selfish with yourself. Between being heartless... and taking care of your heart. And I'm learning how important it is to be selfish with yourself, to take care of your heart.

I've had some hard blows in the past 8 months, but probably the hardest "growing pains" in the whole process have been seeing some true colors start to shine through. I've seen selflessness- oh, such wonderful selflessness. People who have given their time and energy and love to throw me a lifesaver when I most needed it. Those people, those moments have been locked into my heart forever.

And I've seen selfishness- people who can't look further than the waves at their feet while someone else drowns.

I don't want to stand at the shore when someone else drowns. And I don't want to spend any of my time, my precious love and energy, on someone who can.

So, that's what's been on my mind lately. I don't have any special words of wisdom on it. Because just as strongly as I believe in protecting my heart and having high standards in life- I believe in growth and healing and forgiveness, too. I struggle with that. How do you give 100% to someone, to something... when you know you won't get 100% back? When is it time to walk away?

It's an unanswered question. But one thing I know for sure? I'm looking forward to seeing my 5 permanent lifesavers this weekend... my family. :)

Office Inspirations

Yep, here we go again... another Wednesday night post! What IS it about Wednesday that compels me to write a blog post?! Maybe it's a half-way-through-the-week kind of thing? There's no telling.

My post on Monday was all about my design "style" and my love of prints. And today... it's all things office related. (Well, and one thing alcohol related. Keep reading for that!)

I am currently revamping my office ever since I moved my cute Ikea cube cabinets from the office into the living room to serve as my TV stand.

It's a perfect fit for the living room.

But the bare wall, the scattered papers, the general disorder in my office? Not a perfect fit. It's time to make the ultimate investment: a desk.

Here's the one I have my eye on:

Adorable, huh? I have a perfect "L" shape in my guest room, and I love the way this West Elm desk curves perfectly into a little nook. Plus, I love the file drawers. I need those. Desperately.

Even Emily at Cupcakes and Cashmere has a cute desk from West Elm. If I didn't have so much... "stuff"... I would love the simplicity of this desk.

Jenn over at MadeByGirl is always featuring cute houses... and this office set-up is SO me. I love the cubes. Yeah, yeah, I have a thing for cubes.

Finally... let's get to the alcohol!

Emily at Cupcakes & Cashmere has this cute bar cart in her house. I know it's a little rustic (or rusted?)- I need something just a tad bit more refined- but it's definitely the sort of thing I want for my living room. With all of the company I have, it's nice to have a bottle of red and a couple of wine glasses within reaching distance. :)

So, there you go. Another Wednesday post for 'ya! I can't WAIT to post pictures of my house when it's "finished"!

(Homeowners... will I ever feel finished?!)

Reflections Of Me

Happy Monday, folks! I had a good, slow-paced, no drama, no tears, no stresses kind of day. Just the kind of Monday I needed. :)

I'm excited because I bought something new....

This adorable print by The Big Harumph. I absolutely love it.

If I had to come up with a mission statement for my home, this is what it would be:

To create a sanctuary that is cozy and eclectic with bohemian flair.

I used to tear pages from the Pottery Barn catalog and keep them as inspiration. I wanted a home with perfectly matched furniture. With well painted or papered walls and shelves that had just the right amount of knick-knacks. With kitchen tables adorned with my perfect party china. Picture perfect at all times.

But as I've started to decorate my own home... I'm realizing perfect isn't me. Matchy-matchy isn't my thing.

And instead... I want a home that's unique. That has character and charm and yes- a bit of bohemian flair.

I want people to walk inside my home and feel cozy and warm. To see what's important to me. I want them to read it on the walls, see it in pictures of family and travel. To see my love of God, of books, of writing. I can't think of a better way to express me than through prints.

Remember this print by MadeByGirl, hanging in my kitchen?

And this map of NYC in my bedroom? I love them both.

Here are two more prints by The Big Harumph I'm loving for my guest room/office....

And yes, my love of maps lives on... I love seeing how my home reflects "me" more and more every day.

What about your home truly reflects who you are?

Priorities vs. Needs

Happy Sunday! Wow.. what a week. I don't think I've had such an intense week in a while! Between late night auctions, prepping for the variety show, actually putting ON the variety show Friday and an all-day shoot in Joplin Saturday, I am wiped out. I've spent the day catching up on laundry and the DVR- two things that were sorely neglected this week.

Whenever I go long spells without blogging, I start getting a bit antsy. And maybe it's not so much blogging, but writing. It's so important to me to put thoughts down on paper (or, my blog.) It's a creative release for me that's unmatched. I guess it's a priority in a sense; but I think more than that, it's a need. And this week, I've had a lot of time to think about priorites versus needs.

This week was a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me. And I have to point out the obvious, that I was too busy to think much less sleep or take care of myself, so my emotions were at an all-time high.

But today as I process it all, I realize how important it is to take time for yourself. For me, it's quiet time to write or pray, free time to exercise, read or watch TV. I need that, every day. I need that to stay balanced and whole and capable in order to keep up with this very busy season of life I'm in.

I've also realized how important it is to prioritize- but not in the typical sense. I have a strong sense of duty and loyalty- to my job, to my friends, to my family. And sometimes I let myself get rundown in the "priorities" department. Because I "have" to make this meeting at work, no matter if I'm putting in 12 hour days. Because I "have" to make time for someone because it's the right thing to do- regardless of whether they make the same effort for me.

Priorities, if not actually prioritized, can run us down.

But on another note- isn't it amazing that the things that bring us joy in life we make time for, no matter what? No matter how little we've slept or the distance we have to drive or the across-the-ocean phone calls we have to make?

So, finding balance... meeting my needs... and prioritizing in the right way. Putting 100% into the things that give me 100% satisfaction back. That's what I want in my life.

I hope you find some time this week to set aside priorities and obligations and just grab a cup of coffee or sit on a park bench somewhere; I plan to do both this week!

Keep Going

I was going to write a really silly post tonight about being so tired, and having so much on my to-do list, and wondering how it's all going to get done.

But then I think of what's happening in Japan, then I see the videos and images and my heart hurts.

And we all go about our day- because, I truly from the bottom of my heart believe we heal and move foward and go on with life by living- but sometimes tragedy sticks with you a little bit. You realize life is fragile and mother nature is unpredictable and heck, mankind is unpredictable.

So, I'll save my whiny post for another night. I'll shut down my computer and enjoy the simple pleasure of laying my head down on my pillow. I'll count my blessings and say a prayer and wake up to another busy day.

Because that's all we can do, just keep going, going, going. We owe it to each other- our families and friends, and strangers across the world, to just wake up and tackle another day.

Week In Pictures

In an effort to break my Wednesday/Sunday posting streak, I thought I'd bring you a special post this Thursday: my week in pictures!

In fact, I'll probably be bringing you more of these types of posts. Sometimes it's easier to let a picture tell the story of my day.

So, here we go:

A new scarf from my sister for my birthday! I love it.

My checklist on Tuesday. It was a mightly long one.

My boys at work. We found a box of Auction Network sunglasses and so I made them take several "family pictures" wearing them. (I promise I do a little work during the day; come on, did you SEE my checklist?!) They did a couple of serious looks, then this fake laugh picture. And yes, that orange couch is in our little area; we call it the Auction Network living room couch.

Pilot shoot! We're working on a great real estate auction show. The lovely DC Roberts is the host; here she is, prepping for her first take. For the record... she only needs one take! :)

And my new pretty hydrangeas. My friend Heather and I had dinner than went "shopping" at Whole Foods. And I mean that in every sense. Grocery shopping, shoe shopping & flower shopping. I like this picture, with my little birdy salt & pepper shakers from Nest in Dallas. Another gift from my sister; she knows me well.

So, there you go! I have a busy weekend on tap... including a birthday dinner with my friend Leah, a variety show run-through (the big show is next week! Buy your ticket here!) and then a visit from mom, my aunt & my cousin Kim. Utica Square, here we come!

Me, Lately

Happy Wednesday! There's something about Sundays and Wednesdays lately. It seems anytime I have real time to sit down and blog, it occurs on a Sunday or Wednesday. *Note to self: Become less busy.

Actually, that's the basis of my post tonight. I'm not sure any of you sweet bloggers care about my day-to-day activities. Because, everyone is swamped and slammed and busy and running around like chickens with their heads cut off- whether you're a stay-at-home mom or a top executive.

But now that I've passed the 1-year-as-a-blogger mark, I am seeing how cool it is to look back and see what I was up to this time last year. So, mainly for me- I am centering tonight's post on what my life looks like right now.

And hopefully a year from now, I'll look back and say... something profound. :)

So, let's see. Here we go.

Lindsay! Here is what you are up to in the Spring of 2010:

Auction Network: What a blessing this job is, and maybe more powerfully- what it's become. You've worked there for 2.5 years now, and this seems to be the sweetest season of all. Your co-workers add so much laughter and joy to your day. Your job challenges you. And you are slowly stepping into the shoes (ahem- the HIGH-heeled) shoes of a leader. Despite 10-12 hour workdays, you are loving it.

Show and Tell With Peter Bedgood, also known to this blog as the variety show: If someone told you a year ago you would soon be helping produce a variety show, you probably... would have been very stressed out. But this has been the most fun you've had in a long time. You have made new friends who come over once a week, kick their feet up on the coffee table and have your back at all times. You have stretched your talent a bit and you're learning more about production than ever before. You're getting to express your bohemian, free-spirited, creative side a bit. Despite 10-12 hour work days at Auction Network and several meetings a week for this variety show, you are adoring it.

True Blue show: This is new for you. Freelance work. Real, paid, freelance work. You are re-learning how to log and edit video. You are honing your skills as a producer with interviews that make you do research and challenge you. You are learning what it means to manage your time, and a client. Despite 10-12 hour work days at Auction Network and several meetings a week for the variety show and a couple of hours a week logging footage and conducting interviews, you are happier than ever.

Whew. So that sums up my professional life. But it's so much more than that; I am growing more as a person than ever. I am absolutely in love with all of the people in my life and the opportunities falling on my lap. I'm blessed and so, so thankful that God has a bigger plan for me than anything I could ever imagine for myself. So, while these three "jobs" fill my day, there are a million moments- "family lunch" with my co-workers, nights out with my girls, family lakehouse trips, runs along the river, quiet time spent praising- that happen every day that continue to make this one of my sweetest seasons yet.

I feel whole. And that's a pretty great thing, seeing as God sent me through quite a loop this year. But I feel whole, and happy, and blessed.

There you go! Me, lately.

A Weekend Away

I'm baaaack! I took a "social media break" the past few days, and boy it felt good. I realized I might spend a tad too much time on my computer when a friend called to check on me because I didn't blog/facebook/tweet for a couple of days. :)

I spent the weekend with my family at our lakehouse in East Texas. We typically play scrabble when we're together, but this trip- we discovered a new game that has revolutionized our family: Buzz Word. It's hilarious and fun and intense all at once. We're obsessed with it.

We also did lots of eating, but I'm glad to report my sister and I squeezed one run in. That has eased my guilt a slight, tiny bit- but tomorrow, I'm kicking into high-spring-is-almost-here-I-found-my-bikini-in-a-bottom-drawer-oh-crap mode.

In all honesty, I always am a bit sad when we leave the lake. I adore spending time with my family and I look forward to it so much- so when it's over, it takes me a few hours... sometimes even days... to snap back into it.

The fact that this week is packed with auctions and meetings galore might jolt me back into action! :)

But those weekends away, disconnected, with the people that matter the most help put my crazy, busy, non-stop schedule into perspective.

Happy Sunday- and here's to a busy week full of the things that matter in life!

A Mid-Week Toast

Happy Wednesday! The weeks are flying by these days, huh? I always feel like March/April go quickly every year. And so far- two days into March- this year feels no different!

Last night I celebrated "27" with my best friend- who also has a birthday this week! We obviously ended the evening with chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. Pretty good way to end the evening, if you ask me!

I feel busier than ever right now, but as my co-worker so eloquently said yesterday, "strike while the iron's hot." I have so many wonderful things on deck- personally and professionally- so I'm just going to keep powering ahead. This is such an amazing season of growth for me! I think sometimes growth happens unexpectedly and sometimes... you're very aware of it. I feel very aware of the growth happening for me. And I am thankful, thankful, thankful. An amazing season of life- busy, but amazing!

And NEVER too busy for strawberries and champagne with a friend. :)

Let's toast to that! Happy Wednesday!