Some days are so much harder than others. Today is a really hard day.
Maybe because it's raining outside, and I love the rain. Maybe because it's almost fall, and I love the fall. Everything I love right now makes my heart hurt, because the one person and one pet I want to share all of it with aren't here.
I feel like a broken record, or at the least- a spoiled brat. I don't for a second take for granted all that I'm blessed with. The "F's"- my family, friends. Faith.
But at some point in the day, when work is over and the text messages from friends start to die down and I've already checked in with my family for the day and the sun sets and the quiet settles around me... it just breaks my heart.
I wish Toby were here to comfort me about B. I wish B were here to comfort me about Toby. Instead, I have neither of them.
Instead, the rain is just sad. And fall means winter is coming.
I never knew when I started this blog that I would spend so much time writing about heartache. But, this is me. This is who I am right now. Maybe I was inspired to start this blog back in January not knowing that when hard times came around, and I didn't feel like talking about it all of the time... I would have a place to share, to vent.
And to heal. Because I'm doing plenty of that, too. I know I will be ok, and I know there are great things right around the corner.
But, today is a hard day. And, I'm going to allow myself to feel that every now and then.
When it rains, it pours.
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