A Right to Write

A few weeks ago, an anonymous reader made a comment on one of my posts that hurt my feelings. And ever since, I've had severe writer's block.

I find myself second guessing every tweet, Facebook post, blog post. I have things I want to say, but they just get stuck. I start thinking about what everyone is going to think when they read it, what the comments will be. It's driving me nuts.

I guess it's hard because sometimes I feel guilty. When I started this blog, I thought it was going to be fun and light-hearted. Focus on travel and party planning and my crazy cat and my relationship. My goofy family.

And honestly, that hasn't been the case for Lindsay's Lounge at all in the past year. The best laid plans and all that, huh? Instead, this blog has become a place for me to write about my true feelings, to lay my heart and my hurt out there.

I wake up every day and go for a run. I put one foot in front of another and run forward. I go to work, where I attend meetings and guide people and produce a live broadcast. I think and brainstorm and create. I spend evenings and weekends with my friends and family, where I give as much as I get. I pour time and energy into people- into their heartaches and joys. Into their marriages, their children. Into their dreams and hopes and worries.

And so then comes this blog that's all mine. A place for me to stop running and thinking and listening and smiling. Where it's ok for me to say what I want to say.

And part of what I want to say is how blessed I am, how extremely, incredibly, stupidly blessed I am. Never for a second will I say otherwise.

The other part of what I want to say isn't always light-hearted and happy. That's part of growing up, right? That's part of paying bills and working hard in my career and learning how to deal with heartbreak and death.

This blog is an ongoing novel of my life. These past few chapters may not have been everyone's cup of tea. A little too "real", a little too raw.

That's ok. As my sister said the other night, I have a "right to write." (There you go, Ali!) :)

And I'll keep writing because there will be chapters ahead all about new love and adventure, I'm just sure of it.

So if that's your style, keep reading! Life is constantly changing, and I'm embracing that more every day.

But no matter what, I will say what I want, when I want it, right here in this space.

Goodbye, writer's block.