What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. At least, that appears to be the lesson God is teaching me this year.
And in all honesty, there have been a few events this year that have taught me how important it is to lean on Jesus during our most troubling times. It's easy to be thankful during the good- and when life throws you lemons, it's time to turn your eyes to the skies.
Hmm, that might make a good bumper sticker. :)
I say all of this because today, my first baby, the love of the past 4 years of my life- Toby O'Donnell- got really sick.
Toby is a Norwegian Forest Cat. I never knew that, until I was staring at the wall in the vet's office today, in a comatose state at the thought of my poor sick baby.
He's probably been sick a few weeks, and I didn't notice... or maybe I did... but, in dential, just kept hoping he would bounce back.
It's an issue I may have to work out in extensive therapy.
He has liver disease. And, it's treatable- as long as I force feed him the next couple of weeks and he starts to gain some weight.
The liver is remarkable like that- it heals itself.
I know a thing or two about the liver- I had "liver disease" myself in high school.
But determination and will- and yes, a large dose of faith- goes a long way.
It did for me... and it will for Toby.
What caused this? Any number of things. Toby tends to go into "starvation mode" when I go out of town- which I did recently. And he isn't a super social Norwegian. So, there's that. He's happiest at home, no visitors, no strangers, with his momma.
Did my inability to properly socialize him cause this? Should I stay in town forever? At home? Should I have realized he lost 3 pounds? Why didn't I see that? Shouldn't a motherly alarm bell have sounded in my head when a day... then two... then three went by... and his food just sat there, untouched?
Ugh. You can see why I need extensive therapy.
I gave my first force-feeding a few minutes ago. It was excruciating for both of us. He cried, I forced. He gagged, I gagged. And little by little, he got some food in his belly. And I got more than some food on my shirt.
But that's motherhood, right? Am I being tested? Prepared? Taught a lesson?
Whatever it may be- I'm embracing it. I'm committed. I'm in this.
Because I have big plans for you, Toby.
Someday, we're going to move out of our cozy, built-for-two apartment into a house. And, that will take some adjusting- but you'll adjust. And you'll rule the roost.
And then, maybe down the road, a d-o-g might come into the picture. Too soon to talk about that? Ok.
And, in a few years... there might be a baby. Someone i'll need you to protect and love and watch over, just like you do your momma.
So, here we go. Another lemon. Another trial, another test.
Another opportunity to lift my eyes to the skies.