No Matter What

A few weeks ago, my Toby-cat passed away. Quickly, suddenly. And just when the sharpest edge of pain was starting to fade from that loss- my heart broke all over again. It seems that my relationship of 2.5 years is ending, too.

Just typing that paragraph takes my breath away. A month and a half ago, everything seemed so right in the world. I had a relationship I was proud of, that I thought was heading towards something. I had a furry cuddlebug to come home to. A job, family, friends. And now, I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me.

I feel so selfish saying that. God has blessed me so greatly. My family- what can I say. Tight-knit and supportive, encouraging. Healthy. My friends- I've learned the true definition of friendship these past few weeks. I know I am beyond blessed.

But that doesn't keep the dark moments from sneaking up on me. Pictures I put up just weeks ago seem like a different life- a different Lindsay. Sometimes I look at her and want to go back and warn her that her world will be turned upside down- that grief and heartache are just weeks, days away.

But I can't go back. I can only go foward, with the belief that God is doing something really special that requires a complete change in course. I don't want to waste a minute questioning God's plan for me- even though it may hurt. I have too much to be thankful for, and I can't lose sight of that, ever. No matter what.

This song says it all- thanks, Mom.

Celebrate Good Times!

I am SO excited to finally debut the newest feature to hit Lindsay's Lounge- the VIP Lounge!

By clicking the VIP Lounge button on my blog... you will enter a word of champagne toasts, adorable DIY party ideas, champagne, invitations, themes, menus, champagne, gift ideas, and more!

I love throwing a good party, and I throw quite a lot of them- especially in the shower department. So I thought it was high time to make a special section of this blog specifically devoted to parties.

I hope you'll check in at the VIP Lounge every so often to see what new things we have to talk about... and of course, celebrate all good things in life with a glass of champagne in hand!

Lead Me

I heard this song called "Lead Me" by Sanctus Real on the radio on my way home from work tonight. This is a clip about the meaning behind the song, and then you hear the last chorus at the very end. I am just so in love with this song, with the honesty in the message. If you want to hear the whole song without the story, go to Sanctus Real's website.

When It Rains, It Pours

After months of scorching sun and heat, it's a cool 80 degrees outside and it's pouring rain.

Finally, weather that seems appropriate for the past month.

I've been battling a few storms the past few weeks, and I'm seeing that when it rains... it really does pour.

I'm trying to keep my ahead above water- and if we're going with the metaphor here, I know I have the ultimate life raft- my faith.

But, sometimes, a girl needs a break in the storm.

It just keeps raining, raining, raining....

Falling For...

Whew, what a week. It was long. And hard. And included a lot of tears.

But, it also included some really good memories. And some amazing people. And a lot of prayers.

I'm a blessed girl, and I know it.

And while my heart still physically aches- I'm trying to find my new normal and hold on to the happy.

Something that makes me realllly happy? Fall! Here are a few things I'm already "falling" for...


This leather jacket from Topshop. I'm absolutely crazy about it! It's at the top of my "must purchase" list.
I also wouldn't mind a pair of classy, straight cut jeans from The Gap. Notice, I did not say skinny jeans. These are specifically straight cut. I think my skinny days are over- both in jean sizes and otherwise! :)
Ever since last fall, I've been wanting a pair of tall, flat boots. I love the slouch in these Gianni Bini's....But I think these Steve Madden's are a clear winner. Love 'em. Here's my camera! Nikon D5000. Yep, it's all picked out and ready to be charged to the Best Buy card.

Some day.

But I'll definitely need it in time for....

San Francisco! I bought a ticket to attend the BlogHer Convention there next fall.

La Jolla. We have a date on August 4th of 2011. We'll remember what a tough day August 4th was in 2010- and how much better things are one year later.

What are you "falling" for?

New Normal

It's been one week. As of today, I can no longer say... "just a week ago, he was here. And now he's gone." It's easier every day, and harder, too. Is that possible? It is, because it's happening. Easier and harder. Easier, in the fact that I cry less. Harder in the fact that reality sets in a little deeper every day.

In explaining my feelings to a sweet co-worker, she nodded her head sympathetically- she, too, lost a beloved pet too soon- and told me, it's a "new normal."

Hmm, a new normal. I like that. It's become my mantra, the phrase I say to myself when my heart aches so badly it physically hurts. A new normal.

Waking up is different. Going to sleep is different. Coming home from work is different. Leaving dishes in the sink is different. After all, there is no "leftover food bandit" here anymore.

My apartment even smells different to me.

It's all different. A new normal.

Thanks to everyone for hanging in there while I go through this. I know you didn't become a fan of Lindsay's Lounge to read about Toby. But, this has become a huge source of comfort, and- let's be honest- therapy for me. It won't always be like this. In fact, I can't wait to show you a new feature soon that will be fun.

This blog will return to normal. Life will return to normal. Well- a new normal.

Thanks & A Tribute

I am so overwhelmed by the comments, love, support and prayers I've received since Toby passed. One of the things I truly have discovered and absolutely love about the online community- bloggers, tweeters, facebookers- is the ability to instantly send love to someone. I know there's a lot to be said about a real hug- and I've gotten plenty of those- but thanks to everyone for all of the virtual hugs, too.

I picked Toby's ashes up from the vet hospital today. Of course, that opened up the wounds all over again. I still have a cry every day... but I don't cry quite as long. Maybe that's peace, or healing? It's something.

I'm working on a little tribute to Toby. A slideshow to put here on my blog, a positive reflection of his short little life. Since I've gotten SO many comments from you guys- I thought I'd open this tribute up a bit. If you have lost a loved pet and want to email me a picture- I will include it in the slideshow.

Thanks again for the support! I'm a blessed girl.

Oh, and send the pictures to bellesimo@aol.com!